


And to finish, we'll snuggle!

by Nox_Wicked



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas fic, M/M, Unbeta'd, background Edelgard/Dorothea, elf au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:53:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21959914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nox_Wicked/pseuds/Nox_Wicked
Summary: Ferdinand, a human raised by elves, has decided to come to Enbarr to find his biological father just in time for Christmas. Hubert, said father's PA, decides to help him.(It's an Elf AU. Merry Christmas y'all.)
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir & Hubert von Vestra, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 7
Kudos: 103





	And to finish, we'll snuggle!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is absolutely not to be taken super seriously. I just wanted to do something festive to cap off what was honestly a god-awful year. It's a little rushed and unbeta'd, but fuck it, I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Despite what everyone assumes, Hubert does not actually hate Christmas.

In fact, as far as holidays go he ranks it just under Halloween, but above Valentine’s Day. And while the stress of the end of year crunch and the miserable weather are not exactly enjoyable, there’s still a couple extra days off work to look forward to, as well as Edelgard’s usual dinner party. He doesn’t particularly look forward to the social aspect of it, but her girlfriend is a fantastic cook, and their social circle values quality over quantity. 

So sure, while Hubert does not ‘love’ Christmas, he tolerates it well enough. Especially on days like today when especially attractive men show up to his desk wearing elf costumes. 

“Hello!” The copper haired man standing in front of him says, beaming with a smile. “I am here to see Richard von Aegir! The kind woman at the desk downstairs said he would be on this floor. Can you please tell me where to go from here?”

Hubert looks the elf over. Whichever cheesy Christmas company he’s with, they must have a decent budget. His outfit looks like it’s made of quality material, the coat woven with deep green wool, white furry cuffs on his sleeves and neck, and little gold accents on every one of his shiny black buttons. There’s a cute little matching hat perched on his head too, as well as a pair of curly black shoes on his feet.

Hubert’s eyes linger an extra couple seconds on the wine coloured tights that cling to perfectly sculpted thighs and calves, but the elf doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too busy standing there smiling at Hubert, and looking all too eager to please. 

He couldn't be a stripper, could he? 

“Where did you say you were from?” Hubert asks.

“The North Pole!” The elf answers happily. 

Probably not a stripper. Just some guy really dedicated to his job then. “The North Pole, huh?” Hubert checks his notepad. There’s no mention of anyone sending a Christmas-gram. “Who were you sent by?”

“Santa of course!” 

“...Of course.” He checks his notes again. Well, maybe it was one of Mr. von Aegir’s mistresses out to embarrass him again. If that was the case, who was he to pass up some good old fashioned entertainment? 

Hubert hits the button for the intercom. “Sir. You have a visitor. It looks like someone’s sent you a Christmas-gram.”

A moment later, the familiar nasally voice of Hubert’s wretched boss answers. “Oh for the love of- Fine! It’s not as though I have work to do around here or anything. Send them in and let’s get it over with.”

As soon as the call ends, Hubert smirks. “Go on in, his office is just at the end of the hall.” He motions toward it with his hand. 

Hot Elf beams at him as though Hubert has just given him a million dollars. “Thank you so much! I appreciate your help!”

“Oh, you’re welcome. Good luck,” Hubert says with a carefully neutral tone. Hot Elf looks toward the office and takes a deep breath. He looks nervous, but determined and starts marching toward the door. 

Hubert subtly follows him with his eyes, mostly focused on his cute ass. A few people in the other offices also pause what they’re doing to stare at the elf in their midst. They’re probably just as curious to see what stupid son of a bitch decided it would be a good idea to try sending Christmas Joy to the most rotten man in Enbarr.

Hot Elf knocks on the office door, then moves his hands down to his sides to clench them into tight fists. 

Mr. von Aegir opens the door. 

“Father!” Hot Elf shouts in glee as soon as he sees him. Beyond him, Mr. von Aegir’s face goes white as a sheet.

Oh. 

Hubert takes it back.

He _loves_ Christmas.

  
  


\--

  
  


To Hubert’s everlasting regret, he is not able to hear the conversation that happens immediately afterward. About a minute and a half after Hot Elf reveals himself as the boss’s illegitimate son, Mr. von Aegir screams at Hubert to call security.

By then, the crowd around von Aegir’s office is too thick to get through to see anything good. Catherine and Shamir show up to haul Hot Elf off the premises after that, and von Aegir orders them all to mind their business and get back to work.

Needless to say, not much gets done after that.

Hubert immediately texts Edelgard to let her in on Dick von Aegir’s dirty little not-so-secret. She responds with demands in all caps to meet at her apartment that night to spill the details. 

The rest of the day is quite boring in comparison, aside from everyone buzzing about with new fodder for the rumour mill. 

At last, the clock strikes five and they're free from their corporate chains for the evening. Pulling on his coat, Hubert makes a beeline for the elevator to get on before anyone else. The last thing he wants is for von Aegir to order him to stay late with him again, especially when Edelgard is waiting.

He's in such a hurry that when he steps outside, he almost doesn't see Hot Elf waiting on a bench in the park. But then he looks up and there he is, staring at the doors of Adrestia Advertising with complete and utter focus. 

Hubert can’t _not_ talk to him.

“Waiting for someone?” He asks casually as he walks up beside the bench. Hot Elf blinks and looks up at him in surprise.

“Oh! Hello again.” He smiles much like he had when he’d first come over to Hubert’s desk that afternoon. “And yes, I’m waiting for my father. I tried to speak to him earlier, but there must have been some misunderstanding. I’m hoping to talk to him when he’s finished with his work for the day.” 

Hubert snorts. “You’ll be waiting awhile then. Mr. von Aegir doesn’t leave the office a moment before ten o’clock. When he does, he leaves through the underground lot.” 

“Underground lot?” Hot Elf asks, looking confused. 

Hubert nods. “He doesn’t like to interact with the public if he can help it.” In that regard, at least they were similar. 

“I… I see.” Hot Elf looks down at his feet in disappointment. Then he looks back up to Hubert. “Oh! I’m so sorry, I did not even introduce myself when we met! I am Ferdinand von Aegir.” He aims his megawatt smile back in Hubert’s direction. “What’s your name?”

“It’s Hubert.”

Ferdinand murmurs Hubert’s name as if to try it out. Coming from a guy dressed as a Christmas elf, It should not sound as sexy as it does. Then he smiles again. “Lovely to meet you, Hubert. Thank you again for your help earlier. While I did not get to speak with my father as much as I’d hoped, it was still good to finally meet him. I appreciate you allowing me the chance.”

“Right. Think nothing of it.” Hubert slowly lowers himself down into the seat beside him. “So you’re really Richard’s son then?”

Ferdinand nods. “I am. He and my mother shared a very passionate and loving romance about twenty four years ago. Unfortunately, she died in a car accident not long after I was born, so I do not remember much about her.” A sad expression takes over Ferdinand’s face. It does not suit him at all.

“How do you know for certain Mr. von Aegir is your father then?” Hubert asks. If this is the real thing, he needs to verify the information. Ferdinand might be extremely hot, but even the hot ones can be delusional. 

“Because it’s the truth!” Ferdinand exclaims. “I have a file from the hospital I was born in. Oh, and this!” He reaches into his tunic and pulls out a small photo. Upon taking a closer look, Hubert can see a young man and woman sitting together under a large tree. Though the man appears to be at least twenty years younger, and about fifty pounds thinner, Hubert immediately recognizes him as Richard von Aegir.

“I thought if I showed him this photo, he would believe me. But he took one look at it and then started to yell for security.” Ferdinand sighs and puts the photo back in his pocket. 

Hubert’s mind is going a mile a minute. “You said you had a hospital file too?”

Ferdinand nods. “Yes, but it’s very boring. It just says a bunch of information about me as a baby. Well, and it has both of my parents’ signatures, but that’s about it.”

Hubert needs to buy a lottery ticket after this because he is most definitely the luckiest man in the world. He and Edelgard have been trying for years to figure out how to get back at the man who’d ruined her life all those years ago, and here was the opportunity practically gift wrapped for them!

“You know Ferdinand, I was just on my way to a friend’s place for dinner. Would you care to join me?” Hubert asks innocently. “I’m sure that together we could figure out a way for you to properly meet your father. Not to mention, her partner is a fantastic cook.” 

Ferdinand’s eyes widen. “Really? That’s so kind of you, Hubert! I love to make new friends!” His stomach lets out an audible growl and he winces as he puts a hand over his belly. “I suppose I haven’t eaten in awhile either. I am quite hungry now that you mention it…”

“You’re in luck then. Her place isn’t far, you can just walk with me.”

Hubert rises to his feet and offers Ferdinand a hand. The other man eagerly takes it and does not let go once he's on his feet. 

Kind of forward, but hey, Hubert is adaptable. It doesn't hurt that Ferdinand is easily the most attractive man he’s ever met, even with the ridiculous getup. 

“So what happened after your mother died, if you don’t mind me asking?” Hubert asks as he leads Ferdinand in the direction of Edelgard’s apartment. 

“Well, I guess my father was unable to take me. I was placed in an orphanage for a few months, apparently,” Ferdinand answers. 

“That’s terrible. I’m sorry to hear that.” 

Ferdinand shrugs. “It wasn’t so bad. After all, if I hadn’t been there, I would have never been taken in by Santa.”

Hubert pauses in his tracks. 

“I’m sorry, I think I misheard you... Who did you say you were you taken in by?”

Ferdinand looks unperturbed, as though Hubert had simply asked him the weather. 

“Santa Claus, silly! I told you, I came here all the way from the North Pole.”

Hubert’s brain decides to stop working for a moment. 

Perhaps this was not such a good idea after all.

  
  


\--

  
  


“So you said you were raised by... elves? Is that right Ferdie?” Dorothea asks innocently from across the table. 

“Yes, that’s right!” Ferdinand replies as he starts wrapping spaghetti around his fork. “Papa Elf was the one who raised me, though everyone in the village pitched in too. For a long time I did wonder why I was so different from all the other elves, but Papa and Santa explained everything to me a few weeks ago.” 

“Uh huh.” Dorothea nods, looking absolutely delighted. Beside her, Edelgard turns her gaze on Hubert, giving him an overly critical eye. 

He deserves it. Him and his damned ambitions. 

“Oh, Dorothea this is fantastic! Not as sweet as what I’m normally used to, but delicious nonetheless! Hubert was right, you’re a wonderful cook!” Ferdinand exclaims happily in between bites.

“Aww, Hubie said that? How sweet. Well, let me know if you want seconds, I made a lot.” Dorothea winks and sips at her wine. 

“Hubert,” Edelgard says. “May I have a word with you in private?”

Fuck. 

“So has it occurred to you that your ‘ _secret weapon’_ to take down von Aegir thinks he’s a christmas elf?” Edelgard asks him once they close the bedroom door behind them. 

“Er.” He coughs. “Well, yes. I did notice that.”

She nods. “Right. So… he’s obviously delusional. How does this help us at all? We can’t trust a thing he says when it could all be some make believe story in his head.”

“He has proof,” Hubert says quickly. “A photo of von Aegir and his mistress, as well as a signed birth certificate by both of them.”

Edelgard sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Even if that’s the case, so what? Just about every man we know over forty has some neglected child they’ve screwed over in the past. All this would do would maybe embarrass him a little, but it’s not enough to get my father’s company back.”

Hubert opens his mouth, trying to think of the right words to convince her otherwise. “Maybe not, but it’s something at least. Yes, maybe this source is not… of entirely sound mind. But now we have proof of a potential public scandal. That’s at least something for now. It’s better than nothing.”

Edelgard huffs. “Fine. You’re right. But I don’t like the idea of using his son like that. He obviously needs some help, or counselling, or something. Perhaps if we figured out what really happened to him…”

Hubert nods. “Of course. If we can figure that out, perhaps we can get more dirt on von Aegir.”

Edelgard smiles at last. “Right. Well, if that’s the case, maybe we should try to play along with Ferdinand for now. He obviously believes in this fantasy he’s created, so maybe if we just play along with him, we can figure out how to read between the lines.”

“Good idea.” Hubert reaches out and touches her shoulder gently. “We’ll get to the bottom of this. I promise. You’ll get your company back.” 

She smiles and they quietly return to the table just in time to see Dorothea pat Ferdinand on the arm. He looks, without exaggerating, like he’s about to burst into tears at any moment.

“Are you alright?” Edelgard asks first, rushing forward to his side. 

Dorothea clears her throat. “Ferdie was just telling me some awful news he received about his father before he left to find him.”

“What awful news?” Hubert asks quickly. Perhaps a little too quickly from the dirty look he receives from Dorothea. 

Ferdinand sniffles loudly. 

“He’s… He’s on the naughty list,” he whispers gravely. 

  
  


\--

  
  


Despite Edelgard and Dorothea’s offer to let Ferdinand stay in their guest room, Hubert insists that he stay at his apartment instead. 

It’s not because Ferdinand is extremely attractive. While that is a bonus, Hubert has always preferred to err on the cautious side of things. He knows Edelgard and Dorothea are more than capable of defending themselves, but if anything were to happen to them he’d be devastated. And while Ferdinand appears to be harmless, Hubert knows better than to think there’s no dark sides to him. If there’s a chance that Ferdinand is attempting to pull some kind of trick, Hubert is going to be the one to catch him.

“You can sleep here,” Hubert says as he pulls out the futon. “I’ll grab some extra blankets for you. It’s not the most comfortable bed in the world, but it’s all I have at the moment.”

Ferdinand, as always, just smiles at him. “Hubert, this is perfect. Thank you again for your kindness! I will definitely put in a good word to Santa for you once this is all over.”

Hubert tries not to snort and nods. “Right. Thank you for that.”

“You are welcome!” 

Hubert steals an extra pillow off his own bed to lend to Ferdinand, who takes it eagerly. 

“I’m curious. What exactly was your plan if I hadn’t invited you to stay? Do you have money for a hotel?” Hubert asks.

Ferdinand shakes his head. “Oh, no, I don’t have any money. There’s not much use for it back in the North Pole.” He starts to unbutton his coat. “I had hoped that my father would allow me to stay with him. Santa warned me about him being on… the naughty list,” Ferdinand whispers in a hushed tone “But surely he would have accepted his son with welcome arms?”

“I’m pretty sure Mr. von Aegir doesn’t even open the door for his wife, so I doubt he would make an exception for…” Hubert trails off as Ferdinand slips his coat down over his shoulders to reveal a tight fitting, black sleeveless shirt hugging his incredibly toned chest. 

“Hubert? Are you alright?” Ferdinand asks.

“Guh,” Hubert responds. Then he stands up before things get really awkward.

“I’m going to bed. Bathroom’s your first left in the hall. Goodnight!”

He’s already halfway in his bedroom when Ferdinand wishes him the same.

  
  


\--

  
  


Over the following week, Hubert learns a great deal about Ferdinand. Mainly, that he’s a professional level Christmas decorator, if Hubert’s living room is any indication. He also bakes cookies that make the entire apartment smell like heaven, expertly wraps the few Christmas gifts Hubert had left sitting under his sad, tiny Charlie Brown tree, and knows the lyrics to every Christmas song ever made. 

It would be annoying if his voice wasn’t so damn pretty. 

“The best way to spread Christmas spirit is to sing, Hubert! Everyone knows that,” Ferdinand chides when Hubert teases him about it. “Perhaps if I had sung my father a song when we met, he would have been more open to speaking with me,” he wonders. 

While Hubert would have gladly paid money to see that, instead he calmly assures Ferdinand that it was highly unlikely. 

“Really? That’s a shame. Perhaps I can sing something for you sometime, Hubert!” Ferdinand suggests instead, giving Hubert another taste of that warm, sunny smile, and making it harder to deny the big stupid crush that is growing in Hubert’s chest. 

“As long as you don’t expect me to sing back,” He mumbles. 

As much as Hubert weirdly likes having Ferdinand around, unfortunately the ‘elf’ was having little luck in contacting his father after their initial meeting. Von Aegir had informed security that Ferdinand was completely banned from the premises and should be escorted away on sight. The man’s penthouse was heavily secured as well, and as far as Hubert could tell, there was not a moment in the day when he was exposed to the everyday public without his consent. 

“Perhaps if I wrote him a letter requesting to meet? Would that work?” Ferdinand asks over dinner one night. 

Hubert considers it. “Possibly. If you wrote it, I could make sure he gets it on his desk. Just… perhaps don’t mention where you’ve been all these years. For someone on the uh. Naughty list, he might take it the wrong way.”

“Hm. I had not considered that. You are right as ever, Hubert. Thank you!”

Ferdinand’s writing turns out to also be impeccably perfect. Hubert didn’t realize just how much good penmanship could turn him on, and yet wonders never ceased. 

Hubert helps Ferdinand pick a place to request to meet, and the following morning makes sure that the letter is left on his boss’s desk. 

Von Aegir leaves early that day, still looking like he’d swallowed a lemon. Hubert assumes this means the letter has been read. 

  
  


\--

  
  


That evening, Hubert makes sure to reserve two tables in the pub. One for Ferdinand and his awful father, and one for Hubert to keep an eye on them from a safe distance. 

At least Ferdinand isn’t dressed like an elf this time. Hubert had taken him for a quick shopping trip to pick up a couple regular everyday clothes, and now he looked almost normal. Nothing was going to tone down how impossibly pretty he was though, and Hubert tries not to let himself get too annoyed by the multitudes of patrons that steal glances at Ferdinand all throughout the evening. 

When von Aegir finally arrives, Ferdinand looks far too happy to see him. Hubert loathes the idea of someone so sweet and oblivious wasting their affection on someone as rotten as Richard von Aegir. 

For his part, von Aegir looks ready to bolt at any moment. He keeps scanning the room, no doubt checking for reporters or friends, or anyone that might love to catch him in a potential scandal. He does not see Hubert, because Hubert is especially good at not being seen.

He sits down at last and over the next couple minutes Hubert manages to catch parts of their conversation, though the bar is a little loud to be able to hear everything. He is able to see Ferdinand’s confused expression however, and decides to move over to the open seat at the bar within better hearing range.

“-I said how much do you want?” von Aegir says in an angry, hushed tone as Hubert takes his seat. “How much will it cost me for you to keep quiet and vanish again?”

“How much... what? I don’t understand what you mean,” Ferdinand answers, sounding unsure of himself. “I just wanted to meet you. I thought… I thought you would want to meet me too. I am your son, after all.”

“Shh!” von Aegir hisses. There’s a mirror lining the back of the shelves behind the bar, and Hubert can see the man’s round face has turned red. “Keep your voice down! The last thing I need is for my damn bastard to come to light right now. I have a reputation to uphold, I can’t afford this kind of scandal right now!”

Ferdinand appears to be totally lost, and Hubert’s tiny heart dares to feel a little sorry for him. 

“This isn’t right! I-I thought you would be happy. Haven’t you ever wondered about me at all these past years?” Ferdinand asks, only a slight quiver in his voice. “You signed the file at the hospital, so I know you must have known I existed at least!”

“That was the biggest mistake of my life, and I would take it back in a heartbeat if I could,” von Aegir scoffs. “That scheming mother of yours caught me in a moment of weakness when I should have known better!”

Ferdinand recoils as though he’s been slapped. “What? But-” He seems to search for the right words. “But you loved each other, didn’t you?”

Von Aegir barks out a laugh. “ _Love_? Are you kidding? She was a hot, young piece of ass that sucked me off in return for covering her school fees. Then she had you and wasn’t so hot anymore.” He sneers at Ferdinand, who looks shocked to his core. 

“Thankfully she went and got herself hit by a car a couple months afterward. A lucky break for me.” He points a thick, meaty finger in Ferdinand’s face.

“And this is my last warning to you. If I see you anywhere near me again, or if I hear about you going to the press with this, I will do absolutely everything in my power to see that you end up just like her, son of mine or not. Do you understand?”

Ferdinand doesn’t say anything. From what Hubert can see, it looks like it’s taking all of his willpower not to burst into tears.

“I said, _do you understand?_ ” von Aegir repeats cruelly. Stiffly, Ferdinand nods. 

“Good. Now get the hell out of my life.”

Von Aegir rises from his seat and leaves at last. As soon as he’s out the door, Hubert rises from his seat and heads towards Ferdinand’s table. 

“Ferdinand…” He murmurs, a little unsure what to say. There’s not exactly a protocol for comforting someone whose father just threatened to murder them, after all. 

“I… I think I need some air,” Ferdinand says quietly. Hubert nods and helps him into his coat.

The plaza outside the pub has a few benches at least. They find an empty one near a few trees strung up with lights. 

“I know everyone said he wasn’t nice, but I didn’t expect him to be so- _so cruel_ ,” Ferdinand says quietly. “The way he talked about my mother… It was completely heartless!” 

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you found out this way,” Hubert offers. “It’s never easy to realize a parent is a complete asshole.”

Ferdinand sniffles and Hubert reaches into his coat to offer a handkerchief. “You speak as though you have experience.”

“You could say that,” Hubert nods. “Mine was similar to yours. Though he was not as rich and had an unfortunate love of drinking.”

“Eggnog?” Ferdinand asks, and bless him, he’s serious.

“...Sure. Let’s go with that.” Hubert coughs to try and cover the smirk taking hold of his lips. “Anyway, he’s long gone now and the world is better for it.”

Ferdinand sighs and stares out at the plaza before them. “I just… I guess even though people told me what he was like, I thought maybe I could change him. Help him be a better person as we reconnected.” He smiles sadly and tucks a loose strand of hair out of his face. “Was that silly of me?”

Hubert exhales and leans back in his seat. “I don’t think wanting to honestly help someone be a better person is silly. However, I do think people cannot change unless they truly want to, deep down. I’m sorry to say, I don’t think your father wants to.”

Ferdinand bites his lower lip and nods. “I think you’re right about that.”

“But,” Hubert continues “That’s not a slight against you in any way. I suppose the one good thing your father has done was to help bring you into the world. It boggles the mind to see someone so bright and positive come from someone so utterly awful. Still, I’m happy to inform you that you are nothing like him, and have in fact improved the world simply by existing.”

It’s a little sappy, but when Hubert turns back to Ferdinand, the other man is staring at him with wide, hopeful eyes. Hubert’s heart thumps a little harder in his chest.

“Do you really mean that, Hubert?”

He nods. “I spend every day at an office with the sole purpose of figuring out how to make people spend money on things they don’t need. Trust me when I say I see the worst of people. You’re like… well, I suppose you’re like a breath of fresh air in how frighteningly honest and sweet you are. It’s still quite unnerving at times to tell the truth.”

Ferdinand laughs and nudges Hubert’s arm. “You know Hubert, for someone who claims to be such a grouch, you are quite kind and good yourself!”

Hubert can’t help but snort at that. “Enough to keep me off the naughty list?”

“Well… I’ll put in a good word for you and we’ll see.” 

  
  


\--

  
  


Over the next few days, Ferdinand seems… happier. Surprisingly so for someone who’s just been rejected by their long lost father. Hubert isn’t quite sure what to make of it until one evening when he and Ferdinand are lounging around the living room watching the Rudolph special together. 

“Hubert,” Ferdinand starts, pausing to take a breath. “I was wondering… would you um. Would you like to go and eat food with me?”

“You’re hungry? Didn’t we just eat half an hour ago?” 

Ferdinand’s cheeks turn adorably red. “No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, do you want to go eat food… together. Um. Somewhere else. _Together_.” 

Hubert blinks at him, trying to decipher the code Ferdinand is apparently speaking in. “You want to go out… as in what, a date?”

Ferdinand’s blush reaches the tips of his ears now. “Um. Y-yes. That.” He clears his throat. “Would you like to go on a date with me, Hubert?”

For some inexplicable reason, Hubert’s throat feels suddenly parched. “I uh. It’s a little late tonight…”

Ferdinand’s face immediately falls.

“...But I’m free after work tomorrow?”

As quickly as when it had fallen, Ferdinand’s smile returns in its full glory. “That’s great! Tomorrow it is then!”

A small smile turns the corner of Hubert’s lips in return. “Tomorrow. Sounds good.”

  
  


\--

  
  


Shockingly, Hubert finds himself looking forward to his date that night. And yes, maybe he feels a little skeezy for agreeing to go out with a man who’s been relying on him for food and shelter the past couple weeks, but then again he genuinely likes Ferdinand’s company. And Ferdinand had asked him. And just because they were going out to dinner, it didn’t mean it had to lead to anything romantic. Friends could go on dates, right?

He tries not to think about how he’s technically been using Ferdinand to try getting back at his scumbag father. Then again, he hasn’t been digging too much into that since their last meeting with von Aegir. It hadn’t really felt right.

Naturally, the work day crawls along at a snail’s pace. At the very least, von Aegir isn’t in the office that day, so Hubert is spared the threat of overtime. Still, his anxiousness must show. Several times throughout the day, Ladislava gives him a weird look, and at one point Randolph makes some joke about how Hubert must have a ‘hot date’ that night.

Hubert brushes it off, but when he gets a text from Dorothea that afternoon telling him to pick Ferdinand up from her place, he wonders what exactly she’d gotten up to with him. Whatever it is, it can’t be good for Hubert’s health.

As soon as the clock hits five, his coat and gloves are on, and Hubert flees the office like a bat out of hell. He makes a quick stop at the apartment to change his clothes, but is quick enough to arrive exactly on time.

Whatever he’d been expecting, it is not the sight he’s gifted with when he arrives at Dorothea and Edelgard’s apartment. 

Ferdinand opens the door and dammit, Hubert has underestimated Dorothea once again. She’s styled Ferdinand’s long, bright hair into a loose, perfectly messy yet elaborate braid. Two delicate golden earrings dangle from his ears, framing the bright smile on his slightly flushed face. She must have taken him shopping too; Dark green corduroy slacks show off Ferdinand’s unreal thighs, and a cream wool knit button down sweater doesn’t do much to hide the toned chest Hubert knows is underneath. The collar of that damn blank tank top peeks out from the top of the sweater and Hubert tries to keep his breathing under control. 

“My,” He says once he realizes they’ve both been staring in silence. “You look… you look very nice.” 

God he hopes Dorothea and Edelgard aren’t hiding around the corner listening in. 

Ferdinand beams at him. “Thank you. You look nice too, Hubert!”

Hubert brushes his bangs out of his face only for them to fall right back into place. “Ah. Thank you.” He thinks he hears a snicker from beyond the hall. “Shall we head out then?”

Ferdinand nods eagerly, grabbing his coat from the rack. It’s also new, a long, black wool pea coat that actually fits him properly, unlike the one Hubert had loaned him up until that point. 

He looks like he should be on the cover of a magazine, and Hubert is suddenly horribly self conscious of his own appearance. He’d just pulled on his black dress pants and a grey button down shirt with the sleeves pushed up. If he’d known he was taking a god damn supermodel out, maybe he would have at least tried to integrate some color into his wardrobe for once. 

Still, Ferdinand seems un-bothered at least, if the way he links his arm with Hubert’s is any indication. 

“Dorothea told me she booked us a table at this restaurant nearby. She says it’s very nice, so I’m excited to try it! It’s amazing how many foods there are that aren’t made of candy here.”

The restaurant is a little pretentious for Hubert’s taste, but since Dorothea had gone out of her way to reserve them a table, Hubert doesn’t complain. 

He doesn’t have to. Ferdinand takes one bite of his… whatever kind of fancy dish is on his plate, and makes the most disgusted face Hubert has ever seen. Then, not knowing what to do, looks around the room desperately with his mouth full, refusing to swallow. 

Hubert does his best not to laugh as he hands over his napkin and watches Ferdinand discreetly spit his food out. A couple snickers give him away though. Ferdinand pouts and quickly washes the taste away with a drink of water, while Hubert pushes his own plate back. The steak is far too dry and chewy for his taste anyway. 

“How about we get out of here?” Hubert suggests. “I think I know a better place to go eat.”

Twenty minutes later, Ferdinand is eagerly devouring a slice of pizza and loving every minute of it. Beside him, Hubert sips at his cheap coffee.

“You were right, Hubert. This is much better!” Ferdinand says, gesturing to the diner around them. “You have great taste.”

Hubert smiles around the rim of his mug. “Well. I try.” It’s weird to have his tastes complimented. Nice, but weird.

Ferdinand insists they go see a movie after. No doubt an idea planted in his head by Edelgard and Dorothea, but Hubert likes going to the cinema so he doesn’t bother arguing. 

The little indie theatre a few blocks down is playing some romantic Christmas movie in black and white. The seats are mostly empty, and Ferdinand is absolutely enraptured by the film. When it's over he can't stop gushing over it, waving his hands around excitedly. 

They have nothing planned afterward, so they simply take a walk through the park nearby. All the trees have been strung up with bright lights, and snow starts to fall in slow, soft flakes, bright spots among the dark of the evening.

The two of them stop in front of a large tree to take in the beauty of it. Then Hubert jumps a little as he feels something soft press against his cheek. When he turns to Ferdinand, his date is looking at him nervously, waiting for Hubert's reaction.

"...you missed."

Ferdinand frowns. "What? Missed wha-"

Hubert cuts him off with a gentle kiss against Ferdinand's lips. He pulls away after a moment only for Ferdinand to grab him by the lapel of his coat and bring him back down for another.

When they leave the park at last, it’s with swollen lips and flushed faces. Ferdinand doesn’t let go of Hubert’s hand the entire walk back home.

  
  


\--

  
  


So Hubert might be a little in love. Maybe more than a little. 

Maybe enough to be kind of freaking him out.

No matter how hard he tries to focus, inevitably his thoughts lead back to Ferdinand. Putting together an email leads to him wondering what Ferdinand got up to that day. Filing some invoices ends up with him thinking about Ferdinand’s soft skin, and how his hair reflects light in the most elegant way.

It’s completely ridiculous, and yet he can’t stop.

Which leads to a bigger problem; namely the guilt Hubert’s been carrying in the pit of his stomach ever since he woke up with Ferdinand the other morning and remembered why exactly he’d let the man into his life, despite his weird elven delusions.

Hubert does not usually let guilt get to him, but Ferdinand has a way of getting under his skin apparently. 

He knows he should come clean about him and Edelgard’s initial intentions but... it’s hard to remember when for the first time in a long time, he feels so happy in the presence of another person.

It’s not until Hubert listens in on one of his boss’s phone calls that he realizes he needs to take care of things much sooner than later. 

To anyone else, they might not have picked up on it. But Hubert has dealt with some shady shit before, so when von Aegir calls someone to ask about a _problem_ that needs to be dealt with, potentially _disposed of_ , he knows exactly what he means.

He also knows what needs to be done. Ferdinand cannot stay in Enbarr anymore. Not if he wants to be safe from people like Hubert or Richard von Aegir. 

It’s with a heavy heart that Hubert walks back to his apartment that evening, knowing what he has to do. It’s especially difficult when Ferdinand opens the door for him and smiles at him with such genuine happiness. Has anyone ever looked that happy to see Hubert before? 

“Welcome home, Hubert!” Ferdinand says, leaning up to kiss him again. It’s selfish of him, but Hubert savours it. Who knows, it could very well be the last time he gets a kiss like it again.

Ferdinand pulls away before they can get too intimate and ushers Hubert into the living room. “I know it’s a day early, but I got you a present. I hope you don’t mind!”

“A day early?” Hubert mumbles. Then he winces. Right. It’s Christmas eve. Because of course it is. 

Ferdinand reaches under the tree to pull out an expertly wrapped gift, complete with intricate ribbons and a handwritten tag bearing Hubert’s name. 

"I was not quite sure what you'd like, but then… oh, just open it!" Ferdinand says, eagerly pressing the gift into Hubert’s hands.

Carefully, Hubert pulls the ribbon loose and digs his fingers into the folds of paper to tear it apart. 

"It’s… coffee?" He says, looking over the bag in his hands.

"Not just any coffee!" Ferdinand chimes in. "I asked Edelgard and she told me this blend of coffee is your absolute favourite. I couldn't find it at first, but after looking around for ages at last I found a shop nearby that carried it." He smiles shyly. "Do you like it?"

"It's…" Wonderful. Thoughtful. Exactly the kind of gift he likes. 

Then Hubert remembers the conversation at the office. He sets his jaw sternly and steadies himself for what he’s about to do.

"...Ferdinand, I can't do this anymore."

It takes a minute to sink in. When it does, Ferdinand’s smile starts to drop. “What do you mean? You can’t do what, Hubert?”

Hubert sets the bag of coffee down on the counter as he mentally recites the words he needs to say. It does not make it any easier to say them. 

“I can’t keep living here with you. You have to go home, Ferdinand.”

Ferdinand narrows his eyes. “Hubert, where is this coming from? Why are you saying this?”

“Why am I telling a delusional stranger to get out of my apartment? Gee, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I realized I never should have let you stay here in the first place.”

Ferdinand shakes his head. “Hubert, something is bothering you. You’re not this cruel, I know you-”

“You don’t know me at all!” Hubert snaps. “You don’t know anything about me. You come here, into my life acting all sweet and innocent, but you’re just living in a stupid fantasy world. You’re not an elf, you’re not from the North Pole, and you’re not welcome here any more.”

Ferdinand reaches out to him but Hubert slaps his hand away. He has to end this. Now. Hurt him to help him, he tells himself. 

“I only let you stay with me to try and get back at your father,” He says coldly. 

At last Ferdinand stops trying to come closer. His face pales. “You what?”

Hubert forces a sneer on his face. “I thought I could use you for information to bring that son of a bitch down once and for all. And you couldn’t even do that. You’re obviously no help to me, and so I have no use for you anymore. Now leave.”

He wants to look away when he sees Ferdinand’s lower lip start to tremble. “You don’t. You don’t mean that,” Ferdinand whispers. 

“I do.”

Ferdinand’s eyes redden. Welled up tears start to shine in the dim light of Hubert’s sad christmas tree.

“Was it the coffee? I-I’ll take it back!” He says, voice cracking. “I’ll stop- I’ll stop saying I’m an elf! I’ll stop it, I promise! Just please-” He takes another step closer to Hubert. “Please don’t make me leave. I don’t want to leave you. Hubert, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before in my life. I don’t care about my father anymore, I just want to be with you!” 

The tears are running down his cheeks now, and it takes all of Hubert’s resolve not to break down and apologize, to tell him he doesn’t mean it and pull him into another embrace. But it’s too late now. 

Ferdinand looks up into Hubert’s eyes as he takes hold of his hand. “Hubert, I think I lo-”

“I don’t love you,” Hubert says before Ferdinand can finish. He doesn’t know if he could lie if Ferdinand said it first. 

“I don’t love you, and I want you to leave. Now.”

He pulls his hand out of Ferdinand’s grip and turns away. 

At last, at last, Ferdinand seems to listen. Hubert hears him try to stifle his crying as he sniffles and grabs his coat. He looks over his shoulder just as Ferdinand shuts the door behind him. 

As soon as he’s gone Hubert makes a fist and slams it down on the counter. His hand throbs in pain, but it’s nothing in comparison to how awful he feels. 

He pours himself half a glass of whiskey and downs most of it before retreating to his bedroom to sulk.

  
  


\--

  
  


The vibration of his cell phone against the side table manages to wake Hubert up. Edelgard’s number flashes across the screen, but it’s Dorothea whose voice is on the other end.

" _Hubert von Vestra, what did you do?!_ " She demands angrily.

Hubert groans and rolls onto his back again. "I did what I had to."

" _Oh? And breaking Ferdie's heart? That's what you had to do?_ "

He winces. "It’s complicated."

" _No, soap operas are complicated. Whatever you did was just mean._ " She huffs and he can already picture her annoyed expression. " _I don’t understand you, you know. Ferdie is like, the sweetest, most honest, unbelievably attractive man I've ever met. And for some godforsaken reason, he's head over heels for you of all people! And me and Edie both know you're crazy about him too, you're so weirdly obvious about it. Why on earth would you go out of your way to hurt him?_ "

"I thought I was protecting him," he offers quietly. Her angry scoff explains just how she feels about that.

"Is he there with you now?" Hubert asks, unable to help himself.

" _No! He left us some weird goodbye note about how he's sorry he couldn't be useful, and how he was disappearing forever. So tell me again, what the hell did you do_?"

"I…" and suddenly Hubert has a horrible image in his brain of Ferdinand lying dead and alone in a ditch somewhere, no money, no phone, and no way of anyone knowing where he was.

Oh god, he's made a horrible mistake.

"I have to go. Call me if you hear anything from him."

" _Hubert!_ " She shouts as he hangs up and heads out into the hall to get his coat.

  
  


\--

  
  


He looks for Ferdinand for nearly an hour before he notices the weird thing falling from the sky and into the park. If it wasn't completely crazy to think so, Hubert would say it almost looks like a sleigh.

Somehow his feet are moving before he realizes it and the next thing he knows, he's running through the park. 

He doesn't know how long he runs, only that his toes feel numb in his work shoes, and the tips of his ears are burning from the cold. Just as he's certain he's completely lost, he pushes past a thick branch and stumbles into a small clearing…

...only to find Ferdinand standing there, petting a bunch of reindeer. As Hubert takes in the sight, he notices they're all hitched up to a sleigh that appears to have crashed into the snow.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," he mutters, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Hubert?" Ferdinand's voice breaks him out of his stare. "What are you doing here?"

Ah. This is awkward. Hubert coughs and tries to compose himself. "I was looking for you," he admits. "Dorothea told me about the note you left and I was worried."

Ferdinand scrunches up his face. "I thought you didn't care about me or what I did."

Hubert winces. "I know. I'm sorry. I lied." He wants to move closer to Ferdinand, to hug him and kiss him until they're both warm and out of breath, but he remains still. 

"Why?" Ferdinand asks.

"Because I thought you would be better off away from people like me and your father. I'm not… I'm not a nice person, Ferdinand. Not like you, who is so completely good down to your core. I thought hurting you would be the best way to keep you from lowering yourself down to my level. It's only a matter of time before your father finds out where you've been staying, and when he does, he's going to try hurting you. I didn't- I couldn't let that happen."

Ferdinand is still staring at him. Hubert takes a deep breath. Fuck it, it's Christmas, why not?

"Because despite what I said before, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you too, and if anything happened to you, I'd never forgive myself."

Ferdinand looks back at him with wide eyes. "Hubert.... You really mean that?"

Hubert nods. "I do. I love you, Ferdinand. And I'm sorry I hurt you."

Ferdinand lets out a shaky sigh. "Hubert you… you are such an idiot, you know that?"

And before Hubert can apologize again, Ferdinand flings himself into Hubert’s arms and pulls him down into a warm, tender kiss.

Only after Hubert pulls away to catch his breath does he notice the sleigh and reindeer floating about two feet in the air.

  
  


\--

  
  


So Ferdinand may not have been lying about the whole elf thing. 

Who knew?

The truly crazy part is the giant book he shoves in Hubert's arms before jumping in the floating sleigh to, and quote: " _Go find where Santa wandered off to_."

At least he gives Hubert one last kiss before disappearing into the park again. 

As Hubert wanders back out near the entrance to the park, he sees a small crowd gathered around with some local news team. He thinks he hears someone mention the sleigh falling out of the sky, but then he hears someone calling his name. When he turns his head, he sees Edelgard and Dorothea waving and heading toward him.

"Hubert!" Edelgard calls out as she nears him. "Are you alright? Did you find Ferdinand?"

He nods. "I did."

"And?" Dorothea asks. "Where is he?"

"It’s a long story," Hubert mumbles. "Hes okay though. I apologized. He forgave me."

"Good. Not that you deserve it," Dorothea scowls, though Edelgard quickly nudges her in the side. 

"What's that you have?" Edelgard asks, gesturing to the book in Hubert’s hands.

He shrugs. "I'm not sure. He just handed it to me and said maybe it would help before he left."

"Let me see that," Dorothea says as she swipes the book from his hands. She flips through a couple pages and then starts to laugh. 

"Oh my God, you two are not gonna believe this," she says excitedly.

Hubert and Edelgard both look over her shoulder to the page she points to with glee.

Under a list of V's, Hubert follows her finger to a line that reads _Hubert von Vestra (NAUGHTY)_ followed by a list of things Hubert really wishes Edelgard and Dorothea hadn’t just seen.

“...Ah,” he manages to choke out, at a loss for words.

“Oh my god,” Edelgard murmurs. 

“Listen, I can explain the-” Hubert starts, only for her to roll her eyes. 

“No, not that. This part, look!”

He peers down to where she’s pointing and feels his stomach flip for a much better reason. A few rows above Hubert’s name, there’s another lengthy paragraph.

_Richard von Aegir: NAUGHTY: tax evasion, fraud, harmful intent, bribery, abandonment…_ the list goes on for an embarrassing amount of time. More importantly, it includes all the details regarding said reasons for being on the apparent naughty list.

It's not exactly solid proof but it’s precisely what they needed to find out where to get it. Upon realizing this, Edelgard's face lights up brighter than any Christmas tree Hubert has ever seen. 

Near the crowd with the cameras, someone starts to sing the opening to _Santa Claus is Coming to Town_. Excitedly, Dorothea pulls the both of them toward the crowd as more people slowly start to join in, adding her own voice to the chorus as soon as they're on the edge of the group.

Edelgard joins in as well despite her lack of pitch, smiling wide as she sings along with her partner, and clinging tightly to the book of names in her hands.

Hubert, for his part, just stands there and takes in the scene. That is, until Edelgard and Dorothea both give him a look. Rolling his eyes, he opens his mouth and joins in to sing out the last couple lines of the song.

And then as if the night wasn’t weird enough, a bunch of reindeer on a sleigh suddenly fly up from behind them, right over the small crowd and straight up into the sky.

Hubert is pretty sure every single person in attendance's jaw drops, his included as they all stare at the flying sleigh rapidly shrinking into the distance.

"I did tell you it was real you know," a familiar voice says fondly from behind them.

Hubert spins around on his heel and feels his heart clench as he sees Ferdinand standing there and smiling shyly at him.

He pulls him into his arms without even thinking about it. Edelgard and Dorothea join in a moment later, and for the first time in a very long time, Hubert thinks that perhaps Christmas is one of the better holidays after all.

  
  



End file.
